Crying
cw: crying, death (names ommitted).
It's interesting to notice in yourself changes, because sometimes it can be a bit startling. One thing that I've really noticed is crying through the years.
Back when we lived in Phoenix (between the age of 8 & 14) I remember one time watching the movie Simon Birch and my parents both cried and I remember my dad saying something like "everyone should cry at Simon Birch" but I didn't cry.
I would guess that things happen gradually, but I feel like I hit a switch at a very particular moment in my life. During my 10th grade year, somebody within my trumpet section died very suddenly. I found out through a Facebook message while watching Gossip Girl with my mom. She pretty quickly drove me over to a group of some of the rest of us and I just remember leaving the car and walking into somebody's arms and then crying.
Crying is weird too because it can be contagious. When walking into the funeral home I didn't initially cry but having others from my circle cry made me cry as well.
Having someone from your circle of friends that you didn't know well enough can make you feel at a loss of what to grab on to. I was told that he preferred a certain genre of music, and so I associated a band with him, even though I didn't know if he listened to them or not, and then I couldn't hear that band for at least a year, but probably several without beginning to feel very somber.
Since then, I've felt like I cry much easier. I will tear up at movies for sure now. Last year I totally fell apart during a phone call with someone after having gotten acupuncture earlier that day, and I know I cried for quite a lot of that phone call despite efforts to stop.
Almost cried seeing a clip from a friend's wedding video not too long ago. Additionally, almost cried during a music video. Then I watched an interview where an artist cried when speaking of the effect of his fathers death, and I totally did cry at that, so I guess it was inevitable.
When I lived in Panama for 8.5 months, I didn't get homesick until about 6 months had passed, but even then, I didn't really cry about being homesick. There have been times where I have left my family to go back to school, and I'll nearly start crying because I know that I will be away from them for another 7 months soon.
Am I sad? Not necessarily, not in every instance. But it is definitely an emotional response. Whether it be of empathy, understanding, sadness, pain, or memory, there's no simple answer. There's a lot of articles on the internet having to do with people crying more as they get older, and judging by the google auto-fill and suggestions, other people are thinking about this as well.
When I get really really angry, I also end up crying. Last year that happened was when I was pissed off at the IRS. No explanation necessary, I just have a lot of hatred towards systems within this country.
And with onions, our stereotypical excuse for our tears, I have an especially extreme reaction whenever my allergies are acting up. Again when I lived in Panama, I became the designated not-onion chopper because if I tried, my eyes would get so tear-y that I couldn't open my eyes or be able to see until I left the room. It can be quite a nuisance.
Interestingly, there is also discussion and research having to do with why we listen to sad music, and it makes a lot of sense. While sad music can affect us, it can help lift your mood because hormones are also being sent out just like with happy music, and it also helps us to feel more socially connected. And for me, I can transition my mood by playing songs that are similar in tone (or artist) moving from one that fits my mood to another that fits to being close to my mood and moving towards a (usually) happier emotion through a set of songs chosen out of the moment.
An important contributor to the social connotations placed upon crying is the whole "boys don't/men don't/big kids don't cry" mentality. For goodness sakes, there are multiple songs that directly discuss this. Crying is literally one of the most natural acts, and while I do recognize that some people do have a physical disability that doesn't allow for actual tears to come out of the tear ducts, it's very rare that that is the case.
Not too long ago in the child center, there was a teacher dealing with a misbehaving child in the nap room, and the boy started crying and fussing loudly to which the teacher replied "It's okay to cry. I also cry sometimes. But I need you to stop yelling so that the others can sleep." And I thought that was just such a great response. It wasn't telling the kid to stop crying, and it validated the child's emotions and reaction, but also addressed the problem with the child's behavior, the noise, and made a distinction between the two. YES.
There is a lot to think about, and it takes some effort to try to understand yourself, but things will be ever-changing. Because I love TED, here's a short TED-ed video about crying.
-See ya
It's interesting to notice in yourself changes, because sometimes it can be a bit startling. One thing that I've really noticed is crying through the years.
Back when we lived in Phoenix (between the age of 8 & 14) I remember one time watching the movie Simon Birch and my parents both cried and I remember my dad saying something like "everyone should cry at Simon Birch" but I didn't cry.
I would guess that things happen gradually, but I feel like I hit a switch at a very particular moment in my life. During my 10th grade year, somebody within my trumpet section died very suddenly. I found out through a Facebook message while watching Gossip Girl with my mom. She pretty quickly drove me over to a group of some of the rest of us and I just remember leaving the car and walking into somebody's arms and then crying.
Crying is weird too because it can be contagious. When walking into the funeral home I didn't initially cry but having others from my circle cry made me cry as well.
Having someone from your circle of friends that you didn't know well enough can make you feel at a loss of what to grab on to. I was told that he preferred a certain genre of music, and so I associated a band with him, even though I didn't know if he listened to them or not, and then I couldn't hear that band for at least a year, but probably several without beginning to feel very somber.
Since then, I've felt like I cry much easier. I will tear up at movies for sure now. Last year I totally fell apart during a phone call with someone after having gotten acupuncture earlier that day, and I know I cried for quite a lot of that phone call despite efforts to stop.
Almost cried seeing a clip from a friend's wedding video not too long ago. Additionally, almost cried during a music video. Then I watched an interview where an artist cried when speaking of the effect of his fathers death, and I totally did cry at that, so I guess it was inevitable.
When I lived in Panama for 8.5 months, I didn't get homesick until about 6 months had passed, but even then, I didn't really cry about being homesick. There have been times where I have left my family to go back to school, and I'll nearly start crying because I know that I will be away from them for another 7 months soon.
Am I sad? Not necessarily, not in every instance. But it is definitely an emotional response. Whether it be of empathy, understanding, sadness, pain, or memory, there's no simple answer. There's a lot of articles on the internet having to do with people crying more as they get older, and judging by the google auto-fill and suggestions, other people are thinking about this as well.
When I get really really angry, I also end up crying. Last year that happened was when I was pissed off at the IRS. No explanation necessary, I just have a lot of hatred towards systems within this country.
And with onions, our stereotypical excuse for our tears, I have an especially extreme reaction whenever my allergies are acting up. Again when I lived in Panama, I became the designated not-onion chopper because if I tried, my eyes would get so tear-y that I couldn't open my eyes or be able to see until I left the room. It can be quite a nuisance.
Interestingly, there is also discussion and research having to do with why we listen to sad music, and it makes a lot of sense. While sad music can affect us, it can help lift your mood because hormones are also being sent out just like with happy music, and it also helps us to feel more socially connected. And for me, I can transition my mood by playing songs that are similar in tone (or artist) moving from one that fits my mood to another that fits to being close to my mood and moving towards a (usually) happier emotion through a set of songs chosen out of the moment.
An important contributor to the social connotations placed upon crying is the whole "boys don't/men don't/big kids don't cry" mentality. For goodness sakes, there are multiple songs that directly discuss this. Crying is literally one of the most natural acts, and while I do recognize that some people do have a physical disability that doesn't allow for actual tears to come out of the tear ducts, it's very rare that that is the case.
Not too long ago in the child center, there was a teacher dealing with a misbehaving child in the nap room, and the boy started crying and fussing loudly to which the teacher replied "It's okay to cry. I also cry sometimes. But I need you to stop yelling so that the others can sleep." And I thought that was just such a great response. It wasn't telling the kid to stop crying, and it validated the child's emotions and reaction, but also addressed the problem with the child's behavior, the noise, and made a distinction between the two. YES.
There is a lot to think about, and it takes some effort to try to understand yourself, but things will be ever-changing. Because I love TED, here's a short TED-ed video about crying.
-See ya
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