A stubborn loyalty

Astrology is one of those things that I both believe and don't believe in. My beliefs are often quite paradoxical in this way. Fate vs free will is a whole post in itself...

But with astrology, I believe in some of the general things all with a large helping of salt. Just like personality tests, it can be a lot of fun to look up your Myers-Briggs (INFJ) or astrological sign (Taurus) and then astrological signs you get a rising or moon signs that follow along with your sun sign (they're both Capricorn i.e. my main 3 signs are all earth) but I have never been one to consistently look at horoscopes or take every supposedly quality as a truthful version of myself.

Sometimes it throws me off, though. Recently I looked at a weekly and monthly horoscope of this past month and the weekly horoscope mentioned watching out for a certain day that had, coincidentally, been a day where I much more going on than I would have expected. And some of the things the horoscope said would be struggles actually had been the struggles I was specifically dealing with. Funny how that works out.

But the main thing I take out of astrology is that Tauruses are stubborn, loyal, and grounded sign. Because for me, that is definitely true. And I've always been that way. But I've learned to manage that stubbornness. Because if left unchecked, I will be stubborn about stupid and silly small things. And I still can be (I remember one particular argument about the pattern on a Trader Joe's cookie from when I was younger, and I've conditioned my family to not overplay Christmas music), but they're usually not things that will cause big social rifts. If fact, by being sometimes stubborn about things that are no big deal, I can get some of my stubborn energy out. The other way to do that is to focus my stubbornness on positive and productive things.

When it comes to my friends, I like to think I have a bit in common with my favorite book character: complete unfailing loyalty to my friend. I love being loyal because it's a fulfilling way of being stubborn and loyalty just comes naturally to me anyways. If I've decided that you're important enough to me, even if we haven't talked in months or seen each other in years, I will retain a loyalty to you. But if you're someone who doesn't seem to care enough to give me the time of day or if you broke my loyalty or if you seem dismissive of my existence, then I will politely remove your existence from my life. I will be cordial. If you try to repair relations, I will be skeptical. I will probably not make an effort to do whatever you could possibly need in order for me to get your approval. But, if you are important to someone who is super important to me, that is when I will make the effort to get to the point that we are a friendship rather than acquaintances. I'm not often rude or mean. If you don't deserve to be in my life, then you don't deserve my time and inner knowledge of my being.

A friend once told me that I am particular with my trust. I was initially confused with this, because I'm an incredibly open person (at least I think I am) and generally pretty accepting of all people. She then pointed out my interactions with new people vs my closest friends. Of course, being an introvert definitely contributes to this, but it is true that tend to listen more or discuss more trivial things with people until I've gotten to know them better. Once I trust you, you have the potential to learn anything about me, because I'll probably tell all anyways.

Another friend told me that I'm bad at secrets, but misconstrued view of me. I'm just not secretive or subtle about anything to do with myself. He's just close enough in my inner circle that he hears all the things I say. I may be loose about the things people may keep more secretive about about themselves, but if something needs to stay secret, you can bet it ain't ever going to come out because of me.

So, as we begin this Taurus season and near ever closer to my 22nd birthday, here's your yearly reminder to not mess with the bull- but if you become best friends with one, we'll support you forever. Good luck getting out of our unconditional love suckersss!


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