How to deal with toddlers (especially if they're not your own)

I've always been a kid person. I am the oldest out of three in a fairly tight-knit family, so I've always had younger people around me, and I started to babysit somewhere around the age of 13, which means I have at least a decade of babysitting experience. In January 2016 I got a job at a Child Center, and I spent 3 years working with the 1-5 year olds there. There was many times where I was in charge of the room of children, so I have a lot of experience to pull from when it comes to small children. I also did a month long internship with a children's librarian, so that was fun too.

Toddlers, I feel like, get a bad rap. They're young enough to be a real handful, but old enough to be able to do enough things in order to be a handful. And if they don't know you yet, they might not listen to you. Now, I haven't had a toddler of my own, and the only toddlers I've had to deal with 24/7 were my own siblings, so I was not the one in charge of that situations, but if you're going into babysitting or childcare and are a bit daunted by toddlers, these are some of my thoughts on how to handle them and hopefully provide a lasting positive influence on their lives.

The thing about toddlers is that they're learning a lot of things for the first time. They're figuring our how to communicate on a whole new level- language! But they're also realizing that they have complex emotions and autonomy and personality. So it's a lot of new things at once. Sometimes the issues you come across make sense to us (ex. I'm hurt therefore I'll cry) but some of them you just have to understand in the context of figuring something out for the first time(s) (ex. Child constantly running out of the room any time you give them an opening). Everyone responds to things in their own ways, so a lot of work is just getting to know the child and how best to work with how they communicate and respond to stuff. Sometimes a kid will misbehave because they don't know what's going on, and all they need is to have the rules or situation explained to them so that they can understand what they were doing wrong. Sometimes kids just like being mischievous, so it doesn't matter how many times you tell them what to do and they will ignore you with a smile, and all you can do it prevent them from having the opportunity to do whatever behavior you're trying to prevent.

Not all of them have had a strong parental unit as they start to understand the world around them, and that can be a really really difficult thing to understand, especially if a parent has left you (because of divorce or etc) or something else major has happen, and that plus everything else just makes things harder. They're also learning sharing and social interaction for the first time, so you kinda have to guide that and help they understand consent (!!) about they want others to treat them towards their body, and emotions, & etc as well as how others want to be treated. Consent is so important at this age! Remind them to ask before touching their friends hair/to ask before playing with your watch/ask before giving someone a big hug, enforcing that in order for someone's boundaries to be understood, you need to hear that person give those boundaries, and not just assuming how they feel.

There's that stereotype about "terrible twos" and all that but it's all about seeing from the perspective of the child to understand and help them. They can be some of the sweetest, most thoughtful, loving children you'll ever meet (or sometimes a nightmare) but you'll grow to love them. I really enjoy this age! Develop a relationship with them. They're people too. Have fun!

Also, books are great, especially ones that have you guess certain animals or an animal per number or letter of the alphabet. Children saying animal names or making animal sounds is the cutest. Things like a whisk in a bowl of water and soap to make bubbles or shaving cream with food dye is really fun to explore. But try to avoid toys that make noise when you press a button (hiding things above the sink or in a tall cabinet is a pretty good way to go). Trains and building supplies are always great. Music you can totally introduce to them (2yos singing Barbara Ann by the Beach Boys is also adorable) and dancing is always fun. There's a lot you can do with toddlers, you just have to be creative and remember that they won't always have experience with something you're wanting to do with them. 

This was just a quick little overview about how I feel about toddlers, but feel free to ask if you have any specific questions or want advice about certain situations. It is true, it does take a village, and sometime that village includes the internet!

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